The Voice UK

Hello my fabulous telly watchers. Now I know I may get a lot of hate for this post but I just cannot contain my dislike for the cringe-fest that is spinning chair, TV singing show The Voice UK.


This year the judging panel has gained two more incessantly giddy music moguls in the shape of Leeds native and front man of Kaiser Chiefs, Ricky Wilson and Australian hyperactive hamster, Kylie Minogue. They are joined by Voice veterans Tom Jones who looks like he's just been plucked from a nursing home and grammar abuser and Zorro impressionist, Will.i.am. I don't like the format of the show anyway and I think the novelty of the spinning chairs wore off about five minutes into the first episode of series one, but what I cannot stand is the way the judge's egos and constant need for attention overshadows the obvious talent of the contestants. I don't care if Ricky Wilson is asking Kylie Minogue if she's going to turn around or press her button or whatever and I especially don't want their whole meaningless exchange to be shown in subtitles on the screen which is totally distracting me from the singing! Grrr. My annoyance with the judges doesn't stop there. Has someone been slipping amphetamines in their pre-show tea? because they are fucking off their nuts. They bounce around in the chairs like hyperactive rabbits, especially Will.i.am and Kylie Minogue and constantly make torturous expressions over whether or not they should press the button which are again completely distracting and unnecessary.

In an attempt to make sure they don't become too much like the X-Factor, contestants are then faced with a choice of judges if more then one decide to turn around. This means we are forced to spend five minutes listening to them gush out reasons as to why they would be the best to 'mentor' them through the experience. It gives Ricky Wilson an opportunity to mention that he is from Leeds from the twenty millionth time and Will.i.am the chance to talk in some rap language about knowing how hard it is to break into the business etc. etc. Oh, and just when you think it can't get any worse, all of the judges sing some terrible arrangement of a song all together at the beginning of the show. It's literally shit but everyone seems to lap it up - I just don't get the attraction of this show.

Now, I don't know if it's true but there has been a lot of speculation as to whether the show is fixed and to be honest I suspect it is to a certain extent but I have no real evidence of this. Last year's winner Andrea Begley has a album out, did ya know? Nope, I didn't either until about five minutes ago when I Googled it which tells to you something about the impact of the show because after the judges have come down from their highs and the lights are dimmed, the poor talent is forgotten and that's just kind of sad - so much for being a mentor.

3/10